cere cere

(no subject)

Between hurting after being stuck in standing on crutches for a concert because they moved us to the main floor, dealing with a cold from said concert, being sad over Luhan leaving EXO, my favorite figure skater retiring and dealing with the regular Fall depression worsening, the past two weeks have been less than stellar.

On the bright side, I've got lots of extremely lovely friends who have made the sadness less sad. I just also don't want to bog them down with it? Like I've kind of been being forcefully overdramatic about Luhan with everyone so they think it's okay? I mean, I feel it's silly to be so upset over a member of a boyband leaving. But it's not. He's important to me, his singing is important to me and what's more... it's less about him and more about the industry, which like all industries, is atrocious. But then thinking that way just makes my depression worse... and it's so hard to stop.

Also it's difficult when kpop was the first thing in a long time that I actually cared about and now it's making me sad... I keep telling myself I need to try and care about more things that I used to love and new things but then I always feel like, what's the point, it'll just end terribly. I know that's the depression talking, but it's hard to kick, and with it getting darker sooner, I find the sadness creeping in quicker and quicker.

I dunno, it just sucks.